I always promised that I’d keep things real here. Not just the good bits, but the wobbly ones too. And honestly, this month has been the most wobbly I have had in a long time...
We’ve just come back from holiday, ten days of family time, sunshine, and minimal routine. Ten days where I could almost pretend real life wasn’t waiting at home. And then, of course, it was.
The moment we got back, it all landed at once: washing mountains, work piling up, cupboards that needed refilling. The usual chaos.
The kids have been brilliant, genuinely. They bounced back into school with excitement, full of stories and energy. And yet, when I got back in the car after the school run, it hit me out of nowhere.
That feeling. The one that says, “You should be coping better than this.”
The mental load that nobody sees
My list this month has been full of all the invisible jobs.
Calls to the health visitor about my son’s eating. Messages about my daughter’s meltdowns and how to help her regulate. Endless research into support that’s either unavailable or “waiting list only.”
And while I know I’m doing everything I can, it still feels like I’m failing.
Failing to find the right words.
Failing to keep up with appointments.
Failing to hold it all together when my brain is already spinning with its own storms.
I’m bracing myself for being told (again) to go on another parenting course (as if I haven’t been on every one going). Or to go down another “pathway” before we’re allowed the help that’s supposed to already exist.
And then, once the kids’ stuff is managed (or at least parked), there’s me.
Trying to advocate for everyone (including me)
I went through Right to Choose for my ADHD assessment and then, medication appointments. I did everything I was supposed to do, had the appointment, sorted the follow-up, got my blood pressure checked, the lot.
And then… silence.
Months of emails and calls, and I still can’t get anyone to tell me what’s happening with my medication. I feel like I’ve disappeared into the system again, a name on a spreadsheet instead of a person trying to manage life, motherhood, and a business with a brain that never stops.
It’s exhausting, this constant need to chase, to prove, to explain. Over and over again.
Small steps when surviving feels too hard
I’ll be honest, there have been moments this month where I’ve sat in the car and sobbed. Most days if I’m honest. Not because anything huge has gone wrong, but because it’s all just so much.
And yet, somewhere under the noise, I know the only way forward is one tiny step at a time.
So that’s the plan.
Make a cuppa. Feed the cat. Write a list. Pick one thing and do it. Then breathe. Then maybe do the next one… no pressure.
Because I’m learning that small steps are still progress, even if they don’t feel like it.
So, if you’re in that same space right now. Tired, overwhelmed, trying your best and still feeling like you’re not enough, please know you’re not on your own. Being a neurodivergent parent is a lot. It’s beautiful, messy, and relentless all at once.
And we’re not failing. We’re just carrying more than most people could ever imagine.
A little glimmer of good
And because I am annoyingly positive (most of the time) and I fully believe that there is always something worth smiling about, even if you have to dig really deep to find it, I wanted to share mine with you…
Book no 2 (and my first children’s book) ‘Acorn and the Toothpaste Tangle’ is now in illustration!
Watching this story come to life has been a huge reminder of why I keep going, because these little squirrels, with their toothpaste tangles and big feelings, matter. I’m hoping it will be ready to buy by 1st November, just in time for autumn snuggles and storytime giggles.
So here’s to small wins, quiet cups of tea, and remembering that even when we feel like we’re failing… we’re actually doing everything that we can and that’s more than enough.
Take care, lovely Squirrel family.
Love,
Mammy Squirrel 🐿️
P.S. If you haven’t read my debut book yet, why not?? You can get ‘Squirrels, Odd Socks and Side Quests‘ here or from Amazon HERE.
A book designed for ADHD brains to show you that you are not alone – I see you 🥰
